Republican Debate Breakdown – You heard it here first (probably not)

The big show rolled into California last night, specifically the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library.  Great backdrop.  They did that library right. Honestly would love to visit.

I’m going to take a different tack, going last to first.  Everybody else will be talking about Perry, Romney, and either Bachmann/Huntsman.  Probably why they’re getting paid.

First up Rick Santorum – Yeah, just google his name and that’s all you need to know about him.  DON’T DO IT AT WORK.  The big difference tonight from the first two debates for Rick – no complaining that he was being ignored.  Tonight he took being ignored like a man.  His big moment came when asked about the President’s role with respect to Libya.  Santorum lied saying UN had to beg Pres to intervene.  Reality, US rep to UN spent night and day lobbying and breaking legs to get UN to sign resolution to let US/world move on Libya.  Hey Rick UN sessions are part of public record.  Don’t lie about stuff my 2yr old Frank can look up on google. Rick won’t get the chance to do it again.  Book it – he’s out of the race by next debate.  Santorum that is not Frank.  Frank’s waiting till Palin gets in then he’ll leap.

Herman Cain – 37 tweets advertising a chance to video conference with him to the first 9 people to donate $9 in the name of his 999 economic plan, yes really.  Check that math – 37 tweets and still unable to get 9 people to donate 9 dollars to video conference with a presidential candidate.  The guy selling fake iPads gets more than that after 1 tweet.   Goodbye Herman, Santorum is saving you a seat on the “I was a presidential candidate once” bus.  P.S.  I never liked your pizza.  PSS As I type this Cain is on MSNBC still hawking his 999 econ plan and something called the Chilean Model, again DON’T GOOGLE CHILEAN MODEL AT WORK!

Newt Gingrich – Ah Newt, the one candidate totally in favor of science when it comes to time travel, but that’s it.  The rest of the time science can suck it.  No one wants to go back to the early 90’s more than Newt.  It was a time when people really believed his b*&l sh*& and 3 wives and 4 mistress’ was considered a hobby not a political liability.  If the media didn’t put on debates to harass Newt he couldn’t score debate points by scolding the media for harassing him during debates.  That made more sense in my head, but that was 6 diet cokes ago.  The former Speaker will stay in because he’s independently wealthy; also because he’s a dope.  I pity the next debate monitor to ask him a question.

Ron Paul – Congressman, licensed physician, libertarian (think tea party but actually knows US history and has read constitution) and darling of the university/college campus set.  He totally cemented his position as the “hey get off my lawn you punks” guy.  So if that was his main goal – mission accomplished Congressman.  He’ll be at the next debate.  In fact book his flight to the republican convention.  College kids love carnival barkers – proven science – suck on that Newt.  Those crazy kids who aren’t allowed on his lawn but love him anyway will provide enough support to get him to the convention.

Michelle Bachmann  She’s a long way from winning Ames Iowa (first straw poll – like a big popularity contest that doesn’t count).  In the last debate she put the great white north beat down on MN Governor Tim Pawlenty so bad he dropped out of the race the next morning.  It wasn’t Ali/Frazier, but as far as political debates go it was a donny-brook.  That’s Jersey talk for a big fight.  This time she didn’t engage and she’ll pay for it.  Not sure what her strategy was.  My gut tells me the topics were much more in-depth than the last two debates and she couldn’t run with the big dogs.  Plus she had to share the tea party darling spotlight with TX Gov Rick Perry, and he wore that mantle much better.  Pundits from both sides say she’ll be done by Christmas.  They’re wrong.  She won’t make turkey day.  Her finances will dry up or shift to Perry for reasons that will become more obvious in the next few debates.  The first sitting federally elected official to embrace the tea party and actually leads their caucus on the hill will be left behind by them as the tea party embraces Rick Perry.

Jon Huntsman Smart, articulate, reasonable, measured in response, really came into his own at this debate; sadly at the wrong debate.  He should be a democrat.  I gotta tell ya, if he went democrat and tried to primary challenge Pres. Obama I would vote for him.  By far the smartest person on the stage he lost the race when he said “yes I believe in science.”  The creation vs evolution issue was survivable but when he said he believes the scientists who say global warming is a real issue, he became an asterisk.  Here is the Trivial Pursuit question 2022 Edition that he’ll be the answer to : Name the only GOP Presidential candidate who worked for a democratic administration and was stupid enough to tell the truth about his actual beliefs.  So long Jon, you truly are a gentlemen among scoundrels.

Mitt Romney  Best name in the field and 1 of 2 Mormons.  The pink pie slice for your Trivial Pursuit game piece if you can name the other.  Hell the NBC control room even spelled Jon Huntsman’s first name wrong in their graphic.  But they got Mitt’s name right.  Mitt is stand alone, like Cher, or Madonna.  Of course it helps he’s been running for office since the early 80’s.  Mitt looks good, sounds good.  He is a financial genius, see Massachusetts when he was Gov, the Salt Lake Olympics and Wal-Mart for evidence of that.  He’s presidential.  He is a front runner.  Book him all the way to the moment right before the republican convention.

Fun fact: two young, good-looking, USAF TV broadcasters highlighted then Gov Romney on their evening show.  If I can I will post a clip of myself and MSgt Tony Hupp doing a live four hour broadcast, in 2004 I think, where we elect Mitt Romney as the politician with the best name, and therefore the most obvious choice to become president.

Rick Perry  He is THE front runner.  Liberal politicos like to insult Perry by calling him George Bush on steroids.  They are all morons on both counts.  Both Pres Bush 43 and Gov Perry are former USAF Pilots.  They flew fighters, the 100 series fighter aircraft as in F-105 Thunder Chiefs, and F-106 Delta Darts, although Gov Perry eventually settled into a C-130 (cargo aircraft) assignment.  Regardless, as an aircraft electrician on fighters for 10 yrs I can tell you the USAF just doesn’t hand the keys to any jerk-weed who graduates college.  This guy is smart, he’s a Texas A&M Cadet, can think on his feet, and will match the current President speech for speech.  Don’t be fooled, their speaking styles are different, but they both deliver the goods at the podium.  It’s Romney v Perry from here to the Republican Convention.  It’s science, suck it Newt.

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