Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: Out of the mouth of babes!

So it turns out kids say the wackiest things.  Well, actually, a lot of the time they are just repeating some of the wacky things they hear.  And let me tell you, Frank hears some wacky things around here.  Wether it’s Tracy yelling unmentionable things at the TV while her beloved Kentucky Wildcats are under-performing, or me just basically talking how I normally talk.  However, every once in a while they uncork a gem of their own.  Below is a mixture of the two instances, with a brief explanation of the context in which Frank made the remark.

“We are missing one mommy.”  This after coming into the kitchen and seeing me and Grammy (Tracy’s mom) talking with no sign of his mother.

“Frank has little tummy, daddy has big belly.”  Note the descriptor change to belly when describing my gut.  We were comparing tummies while putting on his PJ’s.

“Penis! That’s my penis daddy!”  Yes Frank, yes it is.  This occurred first during a diaper change.  I believe Grammy is the guilty party who taught Frank the correct name for his body parts.

“Hungry, Hungry.”  with a short southern pause between the “Hun” and the “gry.”  Got this after he first learned to speak.  It first occurred at 3 in the morning and in fact he was hungry as he ate a banana and a bowl of yogurt then promptly returned to bed.

“Daddy on potty, daddy on potty ha ha ha.  Bye bye Daddy.”   After he learned how to open and close doors on his own, bursting into the throne room that was occupied by me.

“Ta Dah” followed by a bow the most flamboyant broadway actor would envy.  He does this after playing something on his little key board, drum, or guitar, or after he’s knowingly done something he should not have and is attempting to avoid a spanking.

“Nose broken!”  After a stuffed nose woke him up in the middle of the night.

“I’m going to big bed.”  Dragging his blanket, his binker, and Lenny the Lamb down the hall to our bedroom at 3:00am after I asked him where he was going.  Why does this always happen in the 2 to 4 am hours?

“Missed the potty daddy, missed the potty.”  By several yards Frank, considering you are standing in the bath tub.

“I put a steamer in bath mommy.”  After his mother asked him what all the fuss was about up stairs.  I have referred to the contents of his diaper as a steamer* once, maybe twice.

It strikes me that I’m going to be talking to a lot of teachers and principals during Frank’s early school career.  Just have to figure out who I’m going to blame for a lot of what he says.

* The “Steamer” derives it’s name from the steam emanating from a #2 left in the snow or freezing cold by a dog.  I think it was a dog.  Some of my northeastern friends will have to weigh in on this.  I imagine the Urban Dictionary might have several definitions, most of which probably can’t be printed here.

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One comment on “Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: Out of the mouth of babes!

  1. Aforementioned “steamer” also refers to a seafood delicacy of the crustacean type…but please, let’s not confuse that with this blog’s contextual reference.

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