Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: Out of the Mouth of Babes – Part II

So Frank is really starting to enjoy talking.  A trait clearly gleaned from his mother’s DNA; and that’s a good thing.  It’s safe to say if Tracy was not such a talker we may have never lasted past the first date.  She’s quite easy to talk to and can effortlessly carry a conversation.

I have already posted some of his gems.  Refresher here: Out of the Mouth of Babes.  For your enjoyment I offer another bounty from the crazy 2yr old living in my house.

The hoop is over here daddy! – We were rocking the rim of his playskool basketball hoop or goal as Tracy calls it.  A goal is for hockey, it’s a hoop dear.   Anyway, I was having issues with the lighting in the living room and missed several shots.  After about 5 attempts Frank was getting tired of throwing the ball back to me and saying “try again daddy.”  He felt a refresher on the location of the basket may help me a little.  It unfortunately did not.

I tooted! Hahahaha – He’s been aware of his gas for a while, he’s only started acknowledging it in the past few weeks.  How can such a little kid rip off such a sound?  He’s like a tickle me Elmo with a fart feature.  One tickle of his belly and all of a sudden he’s the brass section of the Boston Philharmonic.    Bad parenting on our part, laughing only makes it more funny to him.  So now that he gets a reaction out of us, he comes running every time he floats an air biscuit.

Hold on tight here comes daddy! –  I get this every time I take him somewhere.  It’s usually when we get close to a car in front of us or if I stop a little too abruptly for his liking.  Lately I get it every time we pull out of the neighborhood.

My diaper is broken! – This is also synonymous with I’m pooping.  It was frightening the first time he said it but now it’s a bit like chicken little (the sky is falling dude) we know the diaper is only broken because he’s filling it.

I need special crackers! – This one came with an ocean of tears around 3:00am.  We had run out of animal crackers one day and Frank was really upset about it.  Tracy dubbed these round peanut butter crackers Special Crackers and that seemed to appease him.  Well he woke up one night and realized he had no special crackers so he decided to alert us to that fact in the wee hours with a wailing that could wake the dead.

Go Big Blue – No Pffffft! – I taught him that one for obvious reasons.  For the uninitiated, Frank’s mother, my dear wife, is a Kentucky grad and homecoming queen from 1994.  Yes I married way out of my league.  Anyway, she has been brainwashing Frank with Go Big Blue chants, singing My Old Kentucky Home to get him to sleep, etc…  The kid is smarter than that.  It took me all of 5 minutes to get him to add No Pfffffft to the end of Go Big Blue.  Pffffft is the raspberries by the way.

I need more golf! – Is this kid awesome or what.  Frank hits golf balls with a club designed for the Nintendo wii minus the controller.  It’s currently perfect for him aside from the fact it’s right handed.  Frank golfs left handed.  But he can hit those little wiffle balls about 11 yards in the air.  I know because I tape measured about 6 of his shots.   Well, he loves going in the back yard and hitting golf balls.  When he wants to go out and hit he says I need more golf.

Can you feel the awesome?

2 comments on “Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: Out of the Mouth of Babes – Part II

  1. debut dad says:

    I’m hoping my kid wants to swing a golf club that early! You’re a lucky man 🙂

  2. fmlinardo says:

    Thanks. Must have been the hours of golf channel while he was sitting in his little rocker. I’m hoping he carries that desire into his teen years and beyond.

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