GOP Primary: Just when you thought stupid couldn’t get stupider.

One thing you have to credit Santorum with is his willingness to speak his mind.  The candidate running on the idea that government should be smaller and less intrusive believes that A) sex should only be for reproduction, B) birth control pills lead to morally corrupt behavior in the “sexual realm” and C) Teleprompters should be illegal.

Yeah read that again, slowly.  I’ll wait.

Links to all this wisdom here: TelePrompTers   Birth Control/sexual behavior 

Somehow Rick believes that if you write a speech and then upload it into that evil TelePrompTer machine thing, that apparently runs on power from Satan’s blood, the speech is magically changed into words that are not your own and therefore should be illegal to speak out loud.  It’s magic, bad, bad magic.  You know, sort of how a microwave cooks a hotdog in 25 – 30 seconds.  But don’t tell Rick about the hotdog thing, or microwaves, which cook with the devil’s magic, will be next.

This is generally a family blog so I’m not even going to touch the comment about sex for reproduction.  Except to say, well I really don’t know what to say about that.

On the prompter issue, Rick has no problem reading from the written page or note cards.  Someone forgot to tell him the note cards are nothing more than tiny little manual TelePrompTers.  So this is the direction he’s going to take us.  No more light bulbs I suppose, when candles will suffice.  No automatic water closets, when a good outhouse is sufficient.

The irony of this has it’s roots in Sarah Palin’s speech at the Republican Convention in 08.  Her teleprompter broke (yes she actually used one), about halfway into her speech and she recited the rest from memory.  This is briefly depicted in the movie Game Change, which came out this weekend.  After she and John McCain lost, Palin went on a jihad against TelePrompTers, even though she used them throughout the entirety of the campaign; even after she slapped then Senator Obama around for using one.

The book Game Change, which is great and details both campaigns from 08 even though the movie focused solely on McCain/Palin, mentions in detail Palin attempting an end run around the campaign staff in order to get a speech uploaded to the TelePrompTer before McCain gave his concession speech on election night, so she could speak first and be the first Vice Presidential candidate to give a concession speech, ever.

Palin then mixed the streams while on a Tea Party visit right here in Tennessee in 09.  Giving the keynote address at a rally in Nashville she continually made fun of the President for using a prompter because he could not remember his own words.   On several points during her speech Palin can be seen looking at her hand.  She did it several more times at the round table discussion that followed.  TV cameras finally saw what she was looking at, her own words written on her hand.

Surprise, surprise, surprise.  Imagine how hard it must be to remember your own words during a 45 minute speech and an hour long Q&A afterward.  But Palin hates those prompter thingys.  At least the mechanical/electronic models that use the afore mentioned devils blood for power.  No she prefers the more organic type, a sort of five finger fleshy model that is much more portable.

Rick and Sarah, two peas in a pod, fertilized by stupid juice.

ps  If you vote for Santorum and in the next 4-8 years find yourself tied to a post while someone in a pilgrim outfit is lighting the pile of wood at your feet and the crowd is chanting Witch, Witch, Witch and waving bibles and microwaved hotdogs at you; remember Frank’s Place warned you.

6 comments on “GOP Primary: Just when you thought stupid couldn’t get stupider.

  1. Becky K. says:

    “Two peas in a pod fertilized in stupid juice.” forever in my arsenal now. Thanks to you my friend!

  2. Nate says:

    I’m glad you can summarize the stupidity, because I can’t stand it. It’s always on the front page of any news pages and it really makes America look dumb. Especially when that particular person sees a surge in votes. Thanks for the updates, funny.

    • fmlinardo says:

      Thanks Nate. I’m not really in a position to question anyones intellect, but man I enjoy doing it.

      The current idiocy climate reminds me of the line from Braveheart where the King says he can’t send his own son to negotiate because the very sight of him will only encourage enemies to attack.

      It just feels like other governments are looking at Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich and thinking with a wry smile, yeah pick him, pick him.

  3. Thank you for your bits of sanity, Fran(k). Officially, I’m a Democrat but deep down, I’ll hitch my wagon to whomever sounds the least stupidest/latrine-house crazy.
    And right now, I am genuinely concerned for Senator Santorum’s mental health and capacity. Like, can someone drop a dime to his doctors to maybe check up on him? Before he possibly becomes a danger to himself or someone else?
    I’ll shut up now.

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