Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: Birthday time – everyone is 40!

Jun30

Almost everyone is forty. Frank turned 3 on May 19. Because of the current situation it was a low key affair with a few good friends and their kids. That’s all he wants anyway, is to be around other kids. We’re working on it buddy, she’ll be home soon hopefully. Our respective families poured on the gifts and Frank was OK with that too. His Thomas the Tank engine collection received a substantial upgrade.

Doing what he likes best – hanging with the gang.

We did big parties for his 1st and 2nd but I still don’t think he cared either way. Those things tend to be more for us than him. Anyway he enjoyed his birthday, he’s as low maintenance as can be most of the time. He is just as happy playing on the big swing set as he is running around his grammy’s empty new house before all her stuff arrived. He will let just about anyone do nighttime, from me to grammy to babysitters, hey Sydney. Shoot, a lot of the time he takes himself to bed. Low maintenance has been a theme with Frank. His sister on the other hand…

Well she is forty and we all know what cranks 40 year olds are. Except she’s 40 weeks not years, obviously. Finally full term.

Here is what she thinks about that.

Can I get an Amen from the congregation!

Friday June 29th was Anne Marie and Linda Claire’s due date. It has been a long road to this point. With Linda Claire in her eternal peace, Anne Marie has had to go it alone. So she made it to her birthday, again. It will be a long road to her next birthday as well. The NICU is a crazy place, time wise. Einstein has a handful of theories about bending time, the NICU can actually do it. AM is 40 weeks old and 13 weeks old at the same time.

They go by gestation age, the point she would be in the womb. Today she reached the full term, 40 weeks, and should be born. She had other plans and was born on 22 March. That’s three and a half months early, for those of you playing the home version. So while she is technically not a newborn, she’s been breathing the free air for 14 weeks, as far as development goes it’s as if she was born today. Sort of. It’s a little more complicated than that but not nearly as exciting to read about.

However, if and when she gets to come home, the second she steps out the door of the hospital she will revert to her actual age. She was born on 22 March. If she leaves the hospital on 22 July she would be four months past the day she was born but only 1 month past the day she should have been born. She will be 4 months old on 22 July but will really only be about a month old in development. Get all that? Good. I’m glad someone gets it. Anyway she hit 40 weeks Friday so we went to celebrate. Here is some pictorial proof of the mayhem. As someone on ESPN said – You can’t control us, you can only hope to contain us.

Go hard or go home!

The two youngsters weren’t the only ones celebrating a birthday. My wife also turned 40 this month. Forty years, not weeks, obviously. I would now like to revise my earlier statement about 40yr olds being cranks.

I am married to a 40 year old. Hard to believe. However Tracy is still younger than my little sister. That’s just too … pffft hahahaha, no no wait, it’s just…. hahahaha, I can’t… it’s…. hang on…. hahaha.

Sometimes living 600 miles away from home can be a good thing.

For those of you not aware, I have married up, out of my league, out kicked my coverage, and any other cliche you can think of to describe how I ended up with the catch of the century. I managed to trick the homecoming queen from the University of Kentucky of 1994, into marrying me. Maybe I should have gone into sales.

Here’s what a person who is 40 but could pass for 28 looks like – at bath time. Happy Birthday to my Wife!.

40 is the new 28. Happy Birthday!

So it has been a month of celebrations. We had hoped for one more, a homecoming for Anne Marie, but that will have to wait. She has more growing up to do. So we will go on with what we’ve been doing, taking two steps forward and one step back.

Maybe we’ll celebrate two independence days in July. I can almost guarantee there will be pictures.

Diary of a Stay At Home Dad: 7 Pounds of Angry – an update

Jun28

She’s a grunter, who would have guessed.

My not so little anymore, 3 month old daughter doesn’t cry much, but she growls and grunts a whole lot when she wants something. She also grunts when she’s doing something she’s not supposed to do. What are some things she’s not supposed to do? Oh I don’t know, lets start with pulling out her feeding tube.

She still has a feeding tube for those times when she is too tired to take the bottle. Preemies need to eat. They can’t sleep through feedings. The little feeding tube snakes through her nose and down the back of her throat. It gets taped under her nose right above her lip. Pulling it out is no small feat. It takes time, diligence, and effort, but most of all patience. She may work on it for hours, chipping away a little at a time or she may get a good grip and just pull out the whole shootin match. Depends on her mood. Here’s a comparison.

Tube in.

I appear to have caught her contemplating her next move in this shot. No idea what she is thinking but her wheels are clearly spinning. I prefer she not be so demonstrative. Covert op’s shouldn’t be so obvious. She’s making it a little to easy for the opposition in this picture.

This next picture is not very subtle either. She appears to be trash talking a bit; as much as a 3 month old baby can trash talk anyway. While the tongue out is a nice touch I can see I’m gonna have to teach her to be a little more gracious in victory. Or maybe not. Tough call. Anyway, here’s the next picture – victory personified.

Tube out!

Hahaha. This will never not be funny. She knocked off the hat just for fun. I’m throwing in the next shot for free. She got a little angry the next time she yanked the tube. This is her mad face, or as Frank would say, “She’s Cross.” Yes Frank, yes she is. There are a few sweet a cute shots too, just to balance it all out.

On to the update. As of today Anne Marie is 7 pounds 1 ounce and 19 inches long. And she angry. I’m no longer sure about Frank’s safety, but I’m sure he will learn to share, whether he wants to or not.

7 pounds of angry!

Sleeps just like her brother.

Beneath the cuteness lurks a lion.

Derision 2012! – A voice of clarity

Jun28

The best summation of today’s ruling I have seen so far. Maybe Mr Burns should become the political director at CNN.

“Ironic, isn’t it Smithers? This anonymous clan of slack-jawed troglodytes has cost me the election, and yet if I were to have them killed, I would be the one to go to jail. That’s democracy for you.” Charles Montgomery “Monty” Burns Owner, Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, Boss of Homer Simpson

The real irony, that comment could have been said by the President or Governor Romney and still be accurate. Well the part about costing them the election anyway.

Brace yourself my friends, it’s just barely heating up.