Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: As fast as his little legs would carry him.

In general we all have a hierarchy of needs, right?  I mean we all subconsciously keep a running list of what things are most important, and in what order their importance lies. Food, shelter, safety, etc.. usually populate the top of any list for an adult.  When put in a crisis the list becomes much more clear, much more defined.  So for example if the house was burning down, aside from your kids, what would you try to save?  What if everyone was safe, including pets, and all important documents were secured and you were given the option to run back in and get one or two things, what would it or they be?  That might be a tough decision.

Would that be tougher for kids? What does their list look like?  What would they grab in a time of crisis?  Well, we got the chance to see exactly what Frank’s list looked like the other night.

Frank’s Gobby, (my mother), came for an much needed impromptu visit last week.  My brother was headed to Atlanta for business and she tagged along.  He kicked her out around exit 338 in Knoxville and she made it to our humble abode around 2am.  Yeah my side of the family are all night owls for the most part.  Frank is not so he was in bed when his Gobby finally came through the door.  She was going to stay in the room across from his, so we were trying to be quiet as we got her settled.

Apparently we were not quiet enough and he started stirring.  But he didn’t get up so it looked like we dodged a bullet.  I went back to bed, Tracy was already asleep, and Gobby went to the can down the hall to perform her evening/early morning ablutions.  At some point during that time Frank got up and wandered out into the hall.  He saw a light on in the bathroom and opened the door.  He was confronted with my mother who he sees about once a year.  Now I know the kid is slick, but I didn’t know he was this slick.  He looks up and my mom says, “hi Frank! It’s Gobby!”  It’s 3:30ish in the morning, but the kid remained cool and responded with a shrug and a nonchalant  “eh” and wandered back to his room.

Once there he must have shifted into some form of crisis management because when my mom went to her room and shut the door, he grabbed what was important and came flying down the hall to our room.  He was hauling the mail.  In track and field parlance he was at maximum foot turnover rate.  He may have touched the floor every third step.  My side of the bed is positioned so I can see down the hall through the slightly cracked door, allowing me to see both of the kids room doors by barely lifting my head.  All I have to do is open my eyes and attempt to focus. As this event was unfolding all I could hear was small feet pounding the carpet at a high rate of speed. I could see nothing.

All of a sudden there was Frank, bedside, speechless, and holding something in each hand.

The mind of a child is fascinating.  He presented himself bedside with what he felt were the two most important things in his life: Lenny, his stuffed lamb, and a sword.  It’s not just any sword, it lights up green like a Jedi’s light-sabre.  He got it at the zoo when we took him for halloween.  He wouldn’t come up on the bed unless we took the sword up first.  Then he passed us Lenny.  Once he was assured Lenny was safe he climbed up on the bed with us. When he got up there we could tell how hard he was breathing and how fast his tiny little kid heart was racing.  He was scared.  So he grabbed his buddy, a weapon, and hot footed it to mom and pops room for a defensive fall back position.

A warrior at heart, who knew.

We’ll just overlook the fact that he ran past his defenseless sisters room, not once but twice, and never so much as glanced at the door.  I guess when the zombie apocalypse comes she’s on her own, although if she’s walking by then, zombies are in for a rough night.


Here is a reenactment.  Note the steely eyes and how he keeps Lenny away from danger. Kid’s an assassin.  Gobby was lucky to come out of that encounter alive.

The binker, or passy as some of you upper crusters might call it, is a permanent attachment, he didn’t need to go back for that.

At the ready, come what may

At the ready, come what may



Alright, so let’s hear it from the peanut gallery. If faced with a similar situation, what one or two valuables would you go back in for?

19 comments on “Diary of a Stay at Home Dad: As fast as his little legs would carry him.

  1. Anonymous says:

    Awesome. Love the sword! I would go back for my iPad so I wouldn’t miss any of these great stories you share and the other thing would be my cup of tea that is always beside me.

  2. TAL 2 says:

    Next pass thru I will drop off a pistol for Frankie Five Angels. (are serial numbers required down thar?)

  3. Chris Coyne says:

    Hmmm…only two things?

    Well, the mane is quite lengthy now and requires little to no apres shower treatment…so the brush is out. I’m going for (1) my retirement certificate, as proof for those who now can’t wrap their head around me in a uni once…and (2) my Tolkien library – never know when a metaphysical trip to Middle Earth might come in handy.

    A close third would be my Tiger Woods photo from years ago…Hupp’ll be lookin for that in the friends portion of my last will and testament.

    • fmlinardo says:

      Well the retirement certificate would be official docs so I guess the TW photo makes it out.

      Hupp’ll be lookin for that in the friends portion of my last will and testament. – that’s an awesome line. Laughed at that most of the night.

  4. KAL-8 says:

    Let me see……

    Kid, cat, and documents safe…oh yeah and the hubby too I guess…..then I guess I would grab

    My Bon Jovi album with all my tix and set lists from many tours

    My autographed Rick Tocchet jersey

    And probably my wedding album

  5. Anonymous says:

    Having recently fled the infamous Tech Center roof fire, I have learned that the most important thing to take is your chicken salad sandwhich. Because, when the fire department turns off the air conditioner, and you’re kept out of the building until Monday, that sandwhich is no longer appealing, but is still laying on your desk.

  6. Aunt Clare says:

    OK, I just can’t past the image of my sister greeting him so brightly in the middle of the night, in the bathroom yet. Gotta love her!

  7. joy says:

    DANS notre vie d’humain tout est hièrarchisé.De la procréation juqu’à la mort ,entre les deux nous avons chacun notre propre chemin de vie ;bon ou mauvais ,il est ce qu’on veut bien lui donné comme sens selon notre mode de vie reçu et les moyens pécuniers ;exepté les aléas de la vie (trenblements de terre ,raz marée,cyclones , tornades chez vous en AMERIQUE .Ce qui entraine désastre et maladies .La vie renait toujours pourvu que l’on le veuille.Pour nous humain ce qui compte le plus ,c’est notre instinct de survie mais à condition d’en avoir pris les moyens auparavant. Nattendons pas le dernier moment pour prendre les bonnes décisions et de se préparer à toute éventualité. en mettant à l’abri ce qui est les plus cher à notre coeur .notre épouse ou notre époux,nos enfants nos animaux, nos papiers, nos médicaments surtout anti microbien et penser à de l’eau de javel ou chlore seul moyen de désinfection mais là enccore il faut en connaitre le dosage bien avant, de l’eau en bouteilles , vetements de la nourriture (conserves ou congelés si l’électricité fonctionne encore ,moyen de se chauffer revenons au bois ,couvertures .Mais tout celà se prépare dans le calme et la sérénité .préparons ausi les enfants ,sans trop être alarmiste à ce genre de problèmes sous forme de jeux ludiques pour imprégner leur jugement et leur efficacité en cas de besoin..le jour ” J” IL EN SERONT LES PREMIERS à VOUS EN REMERCIER .Un enfant quelque soit son àge est plus perceptible q’un adulte , il ressent les choses différement et la première chose qu’il prendra avec lui celà sera le dernier cadeau qu’on lui a offert , c’est dans sa logique des choses et de son comportement;celà puet-être son ours en peluche .Comme franck son épée fluorescente ;pour un plus grand son téléphone portable ou son ipad mais là encore il faut avoir de l’électricité pour le recharger ;et les temps sont limités et cet amour de communication est vite épuisé tandis que l’épée et autres jouets restent les seuls moyens affectifs pour ne pas perdre le ou les sens de là réalité et de conserver son ” AME D’ENFANT ” avec toutes ses illusions..POUR NOUS ADULTES nous sommes plus pragmatique nous sauvons en premiers nos êtres chers (nos épouses ,nos époux , nos enfants, nos animaux, nous l’avons vu et revu lors de ” SANDY ” ensuite nos papiers prouver notre identité ,nos papiers de compte bancaire ,nos chéquiers ,notre carte ou nos cartes de credits et tous les papiers afférents à la propriété de notre maison ou note appartement .Mais il faut être prévoyant en cas de catastrophe. la ou les décisions ne doivent jamais être prises à la légère ,elles doivent être murement réfléchies Comme on le dit en FRANCE tout doit être ficelé .

    • fmlinardo says:

      Le probalem avec cette logique est Lenny était la première chose que Frank n’a jamais été donnée, pas la dernière. Deuxièmement, il est juste censé être une histoire drôle, pas une discussion philosopical ou psycological.

  8. joy says:

    Dans mon commentaire ,il n’y a rien de philosofique ou de psychologique ,mais du bon sens ,Est -ce du à mes formations de mes différents métiers.( enfants ,adultes, en psycholegie et para -médical ) le sens de l(observation et de la conservation et de l’utilisation .) ne m’en veuillez pas je vous comprends très bien ,peut-être que mes mots on été mal compris ou mal interprétes.lenny cher au coeur de votre fils est pour lui après sa maman et son papa la meilleur des choses qu’il ait reçu

  9. Carol says:

    If I had the chance to go back in, I would most definitely take my backpack. This is where I keep “The Notebook” this is my handwritten medical journal I have been keeping on Bob since his diagnosis. After leaving my backpack at my desk while I ran out at lunch, It got left behind in the Tech Center fire and I wasn’t able to retrieve it until the next day via an Air Marshall escort. What a sleepless night that was! I have since typed it up and have it saved in several locations. The other item(s) would be my wedding album and wedding video.

  10. Shirley says:

    Hmm. I would grab my iPhone as well as my . Crackberry. I would hate to lose that as the ANG would bill be for it. . Since my Crackberry is usually attached to my belt at all times i would atill have 1 more item. I would grab my laptop bag as all my digital photos for Clara’s entire life is on a portable hard drive. My iPhone has all my phone numbers and at my advanced age I can’t remember any number. Hubby is on his own

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