Diary of a SAHD: Going to the dogs.

“I’m the only house without a dog.”

Sad but only half true.

It’s not his house.

But that was Frank a day after meeting the neighbor’s new chocolate lab puppy Goose.  That’s its name by the way, it’s not a goose puppy or a puppy goose.  It’s a puppy they named Goose. The “they” are the four young dudes who rent the house two doors down from us.  The guy who actually owns the house and his fiance got the dog. Because of that little acquisition our house is the last bastion of dog free zone.

This fact has not escaped Frank. He can even name the kids who have a dog. He’ll sit there and point to the houses and say, “Jack has a dog, Grant has a dog, Bennett has a dog, etc…

Oh in case I forget to mention it – thanks a lot cul-de-sac, or as we have all come to call it, The Sac.

I’ll even get the occasional chop busting from my neighbors, “A boy can’t grow up without a dog.” Well we’re gonna find out.

I am not really a pet person and definitely not a dog person. I ain’t doin no pooper scoopin. I ain’t taking no dog for no walk. I’m for sure not taking out a second mortgage for vet bills.

Frank is somewhat aware of my feelings on dogs. He’s keenly aware that we are not getting a dog. I thought he made his peace with it. Apparently not.

So today Frank and Anne Marie are playing in the living room and we hear Frank say, “Fetch, Fetch!”

We look over and he throws a ball across the room and he’s urging Anne Marie to chase it. Tracy tells him to stop treating Anne Marie like a dog and he says she’s pretending to be a dog. Oh well that makes all the difference then.

I got your fetch.  Push boy, push!  Good doggie.

I got your fetch. Push boy, push! Good doggie.

Two minutes later we hear, “Fetch my little doggie, fetch!” Followed by Anne Marie running across the room to get the ball and bring it back.

It gets worse.

Once she brought the ball back Frank praises her, “That’s my good little doggie.” He stopped short of patting her on the head.  I can’t imagine what would have happened if he had cheerios or some fish crackers with him.

The real sad part was how much Anne Marie was enjoying playing with her brother. I can’t wait till she’s old enough to understand Frank is making her into the family pet.

The way she beats on him now when the mood strikes her, he’ll be a bloody pulp by the time I get around to pullin her off of him.

At least he’s not grinding my onions about getting a dog. And for now Anne Marie is happy playing Fetch with her brother.

So maybe he won’t grow up without a dog after all.