“Daddy you’re a filthy whore! Hahahaha!”

Well that escalated quickly.

While putting my kids in the bath, Frank asked me why they had to even take a bath. I responded with, “Cause you’re a couple of filthy beasts, that’s why!” It took him about 1 second to respond with that little gem above.

You have no idea how much I would love to blame that on one of his friends. I know his three running buddies from the hood don’t say things like that, so they’re out. I’m pretty sure I could pin it on a kid at school. He does the after school deal where he stays for an extra hour on the playground. The whole school is mixed together like yard time at a prison. Has to be a miscreant in that group. Two problems with that unfortunately. For one, he’s been out of school since early May. That’s a little removed to be believable.

The other problem and the ultimate truth, that’s a phrase I have been known to utter on occasion. The occasion is golf and the I’m usually yelling it at my golf ball as it does all manner of things, none of which are what I want it to do. But I have never said that at home and I am pretty good a policing myself when Frank plays golf with me. Apparently not in this case.

I just speak the truth daddy.

Not to be outdone, our two year old has begun to exercise her vocabulary as well.

Whilst changing her diaper, Frank ran in excitedly jumping and yelling something about loving cereal for breakfast. Then he ran out. A hit and run of morning crazy if you will. It was just Life cereal but alright. I looked at my daughter and asked, “What do you think of than Anne Marie?” I absolutely was not expecting a response.

She looks at the door where the crazy little kid just ran out and said, “Frank a chooch.” She put her head back down and looked at me as if to say, “You may commence with my diaper change.” Which of I course I did but not before asking her to repeat what she said. I got a much longer reply. “Frank is, he is crazy. He is a chooch.” Well ok then.

No one to blame this on. Especially in the South. Cooch is indigenous to the northeast, period. It’s made up, as all words are of course, but it has no origin, no Latin, no old world other meaning to track back to. The best guess we have so far is my friend Chris who claims one of his friends from Rhode Island made the word up. Absent of any other evidence, that’s the origin of Chooch. Now the word does appear in the urban dictionary, added in 2006. Entry below.

It’s on the internet so it must be true, right?

The problem with this entry is their translation of the word ciuccio. It does not mean jackass. Ciuccio is the Italian word for pacifier, as in peacemaker not the thing a baby uses. The only way I am aware of to say jackass in Italian is the word Asino. That is a word rarely used here because it has no flow. It doesn’t really translate into a viable english slang.

So Chris, your etymology of the word Chooch holds up for now.

chooch: noun. Origin: Early Rhode Island(Chris’ friend): slang meaning to be a dope; full or in part. i.e half a dope. “I think I’m gonna haf ta slap that chooch.”

Now the only question is, will my kids make more principal’s office appearances than I did because of their mouths. They’re already ahead of the game becasue there’s two of them. I was working solo during my stay at St. Vincent De Paul penitentiary Elementary. Still even working together they have their work cut out for them if they’re gonna take down my single season appearance record.

I wish them luck.