Let me just say this is not a paid advertisement for Fuller Brush, but it probably should be.

What’s a Fuller Brush you say? Good god man were you raised by wolves in the Outback. I mean Australia boy, not the bloomin onion place. Well I see some history is in order.

Fuller Brush Company makes the greatest carpet cleaning products around. Oh sure you can git ya a Dyson, but for pure cleaning efficiency coupled with style, craftsmanship and history, nothing beats a Fuller. I have coveted a manual Fuller Friction Brush since I saw Don, the clean up guy in our studio from my Warrior Network days, use one some 10 years ago.

Very simple principle. Two rubber rollers separated by that patented Fuller Brush head comprises a compact unit that picks up crumbs, dirt, paper, you name it, simply by creating a static charge when you push it back and forth across the carpet, tile or wood floor.

Simple is good most of the time.

Don had him a Cadillac too. Very high-end model. The handle came in three pieces and screwed together like an assassins’ rifle. It was so quiet you could sneak up on an Injun with it. A Fuller Brush is so awesome Injuns don’t even care if you sneak up on them with it. Send all indignant e-mail to…

You need ya a Fuller bro!

Anyway, it’s an awesome cleaning apparatus man. So much easier than yanking out the big vacuum when midget 1 crumbles his granola bar or midget 2 makes confetti out of her pop tart and pretends she’s at a parade. Yeah, that really happened.

Well my coveting days are over. Mrs Frank’s Place gave me a Fuller Friction Brush for my birthday. Yes Tony, I know this upsets you to some degree but this is my world now. It may very well have been the first natural reaction I’ve had to a gift in decades. The old ball and chain thought I might be offended, thought she might be bending some stereotypical lines by getting the little lady of the house what essentially amounts to a manual vacuum.  Not so.

As soon as I saw the name on the box I knew what it was. I should say I knew what I hoped it was. I had that thing assembled faster than Oswald got off those three shots, (he had help). In mere seconds I was cleaning the carpet and hardwood floors of our downstairs. Mrs Frank’s Place watched with a semi-sigh of relief and some bewilderment.

Ladies, if your man cleans the house, never underestimate the worth of an efficient cleaning implement. In fact the more gadget-ey said implement, the more the castle maintainer will like it. That’s predicated on the cleaning ability of course. Plus there’s that added lazy factor involved. Not having to actually vacuum some small crumb disaster is worth it’s weight.

I think that may be the appeal of the Fuller. It transcends gadgetry. Yeah I just used transcends when referring to a push brush that cleans floors. The Fuller Friction Brush is so refined it’s almost like the feel of a brand new hammer prior to being swung for the first time or the look of a brand new sleeve of white golf balls, un-hit and thus unmarred by neither tree nor cart path.

Look, I get that y’all think I’m going overboard here, but then again you probably don’t have a Fuller Push Brush. I got one for my birthday and aside from a new sleeve of golf balls, it might be one of the best gifts I could have received at this point in life.

Sometimes it’s the little things and then sometimes it’s a Fuller Friction Brush.