Cougars, Babies, and Boroughs

Delivering the bad news or doing the pee pee dance

Delivering the bad news or doing the pee pee dance

Daddy a cougar got into Frank’s borough and took his baby, come quick!

This was the alarm sounded by my 3 year old daughter as she reenacted Paul Revere’s ride and came running into my office. It’s not a very long sentence, but there’s a lot to digest. It was probably a lot to spit out as well. But then again Anne Marie is the gabby one between the two of them. So let’s break down her ominous exhortation bit by bit so we can get a better understanding.

Daddy a cougar…

OK well I know she’s talking to me. I’m daddy. But a cougar, really? Is she trying to tell me there is an honest to god cougar in the house somewhere? Who knows with this kid. Maybe she’s trying to trick me into some ambush or something. Nothing is out of the realm of possibilities with her.

…a cougar got into Frank’s borough…

A Frank and his borough. No cougar in sight.

A Frank and his borough. No cougar in sight.

This requires some processing. I mean that phrase has several interpretations in several different age ranges. But since we’re talking about my 6 year old and my 3 year old and this is a family blog we’ll switch our interpretation setting to “innocent.” Although that still doesn’t help much. First of all we’re still dealing with a cougar in the house. But now it has found its way into Frank’s borough. A dangerous predicament to be sure. No idea what I’m going to do with that. And where the hell did Frank get a borough? More importantly why does Frank have a borough and where exactly is it?

…and took his baby..

Well holy crap. That cougar is causing all kinds of problems. But there now appears to be a bigger problem, actually two problems. Apparently Frank has a baby. I know they grow up fast and all but wow that was quick. And why exactly would a cougar want Frank’s baby? Did Frank provoke the cougar? Does the baby belong to the cougar and was he merely taking the baby back from Frank? And finally…

…come quick.

Seriously? There is a cougar running around the house stealing babies from boroughs and she wants me to come quick. What the heck am I supposed to do about it? I don’t know nothin bout stoppin no cougars. At least not the four legged kind. But that’s another story for another blog.

The finished borough. Still no cougar.

The finished borough. Still no cougar.

For now I’m dealing not with a cougar, but with a low rent tenement going up in my living room. The finished borough is in the pic to the left. He put the flag on there thinking I wouldn’t ask him to tear it all down if old glory was on the roof. He was wrong.

We came to an agreement, a building moratorium of sorts. He could build his low rent hovels or boroughs or whatever and leave them up for two days. Then said boroughs must be torn down and not replaced for a solid 48 hours from demolition completion.

Also, any untamed wildlife, four or two legged, would be the responsibility of the property management company(him) not the landlord(me). All associate equipment, i.e. blocks, legos, sofa pillows, etc… would also be policed up upon demolition of said structure.


Ya think Trump started out this way?



This entry was posted in Diaries.

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