Out of the mouth of babes: Presidential Candidates Edition

So far I have two posts detailing some of the funny things Frank has said.  You can read them here: The Mouth of Babes, The Mouth of Babes II.  With him getting older and twins on the way, those posts should grow exponentially.  I really never thought I would be writing about the sometimes funny, but mostly stupid things that grown men say; certainly not grown men running for, what most would argue is the most powerful position on the planet.  Yet here we are still eight months from the Presidential election and I could fill pages and pages with the ridiculously absurd things all the candidates for President, including the current President, have said over the past few months.  Don’t worry, no pages and pages here, just some of the select quotes.

Rank has its privilege so Mr. President you’re up:

“One of my predecessors, Rutherford B. Hayes, reportedly said about the telephone, ‘It’s a great invention, but who would ever want to use one?‘ That’s why he’s not on Mount Rushmore — because he’s looking backwards.”  Yeah, the Mount Rushmore line is really good.  It would have been a better line if Hayes wasn’t the guy who had the first telephone installed at the White House and was the 19th century’s version of a nerd and techno buff.  The really cool and funny thing here is, Stephen A. Hayes is the great-great grandson of Rutherford B Hayes, chairman of the former President’s museum, and surprise surprise, a Fox news regular.  He is frequently a member of the panel of Bret Baier’s news show on Fox.  So we are getting all this right from the horses mouth so to speak.

Mr. President, you’re in an elite club, if you’re going to trash them, at least know the members.  Stick to constitutional law, leave the history to the professionals.

Mitt Romney: Mostly funny, slightly sad

“I love cars, I have a truck, my wife has a Cadillac, two of them actually.  She loves them.”  This said at a rally in Detroit where the auto workers came to hear Mitt’s thoughts since Mitt opposed the bailout.  If you don’t see the issue here, you have too much money.

“The tress are all the right hight.”  Said at a different rally in Michigan, this is just plain weird.  However I am told by some that this is an inside jab at Wisconsin, and Michiganders knew what he was talking about even though the rest of us had no clue.

“Oh, I won’t pick where Peyton Manning is going to go, a lot of my friends are owners.”  In response to his thoughts on the whole Peyton Manning/NFL issue.  Again it’s a little insight into how Mitt views the world; apparently through money encrusted glasses.

“I love NASCAR, some of my best friends are team owners.”  Again with the owner stuff.   This occurred in the south obviously, during the primaries in TN, AL, and MS.  The unwashed just can’t relate.

So these are not untruths as they are gaffes that expose his disconected-ness from the working folk of America.   Mitt finally blew his cork about all this stuff on Fox News Sunday no less.  He tore into host Chris Wallace telling him he refuses to apologize for being successful, hard working, and rich.  Tough to argue.  Also tough to see why this matters in the primary.  Aren’t republicans all for capitalism and money and wealth and stuff?

Rick Santorum: Mostly frightening, partly crazy

“TelePrompTers should be illegal.”  Says the man against big government, for freedom, while reading from a note card – the paper version of a prompter.

“Contraception is a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be.”  Wow, just wow.  Tell that to all the women who use it for medical reasons, like endometriosis, to name one.

“If Puerto Rico wants to become a state then they have to adopt english as the official language.”  Said at a Puerto Rico Progressive party rally for statehood and to a reporter from a San Juan newspaper.  Rick went on to say english is required under the constitution for statehood.  Again wow.  For a party that claims the current President is destroying the constitution, they sure lack any knowledge of what it actually says.  Let me help, there is absolutely no mention of english being mandatory for statehood, none.  Don’t count those delegates from PR just yet Rick, and I wouldn’t count on a lot from Texas and California either.

“The Obama Administration has turned a blind eye to those who wish to preserve our culture from the scourge of pornography and has refused to enforce obscenity laws. ”   This from a speech he made and it’s posted on his web site.  Frightening for a few reasons.  1. He offers no evidence of the blind eye by President Obama.  2. He believes as President he will enforce theses laws.  How, Rick, how will you do that?  Police enforce the law, congress writes the law, you only get to sign it.  And who gets to define obscenity?  Will you make the word “Crap” illegal?  The fact he doesn’t know any of that is frightening enough.  3. He thinks this is the big issue in America today.  But Mitt is somehow the one who’s disconnected?

Newt Gingrich: Mostly funny, partly delusional 

“I don’t know Brett.”  In response to Brett Baier’s question, “What state can you win, if you can’t win the southern states?” after Newt got the big south rebuke, coming in 3rd in TN, 2nd in AL and MS.  Newt compounded his problems when he said he had to win the south to remain viable.  Very inspiring Newt, well done.

To the moon Alice! To the Moon!

“By the end of my second term we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American.”  Great, big help Newt.  I’m sure the people who can’t get a job will be linning up to get jobs in the space program now.  It should  come as no surprise he said this to a group of Floridians on what’s known as the Space Coast – Cape Canaveral.   Also his time table would be 9 years from now, so again big help and I don’t like the way you said that as if you might get more than two terms.

“I’m not a natural leader. I’m too intellectual; I’m too abstract; I think too much.”  Vote for me, I’m too smart to lead!

I’m going to be the nominee. It’s very hard not to look at the recent polls and think that the odds are very high I’m going to be the nominee.”  Ouch, that has to sting a little.


I was going to put some Ron Paul stuff up here but lets face it, he’s a distant memory.  He recieved less than 4% of the vote in the last 6 primaries.  If these were debates he wouldn’t even meet the % requirement to to get in.

Puerto Rico primary tomorrow.  Check back for latest results.

GOP Primary: The southern dust settles

Santorum enjoyed his big win in the South last night for less than an hour.  Then it was off to Puerto Rico in search of delegates.  Rick is trying to find the math.  He’s worried and he should be.  Of course you wouldn’t know that if you watched the news, left wing, right wing or otherwise.  They all touted the Southern Sweep as a huge game changer, that Romney is now on the ropes.  While he may not admit it publicly, Rick knows what you and I both know: delegates matter, not state wins.

Here’s the issue, last night Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi.  That’s a big achievement, especially when you consider by comparison to Mitt and Newt, Santorum is dirt poor.  However, you run the race your given.  With the 4 delegates he won in Hawaii Santorum won a grand total of 32 delegates.  Romney finished 3rd in Alabama and Mississippi, 1st in Hawaii and American Samoa, and took a grand total of 37 delegates.  Wait a minute, Mitt won more delegates last night?!? No, no, Santorum won, I saw it on the news.  Yes Virginia you did, but the TV media defines winning differently.  It’s hard to make snazzy graphics and thrilling music for a delegate victory, winning states is much more sexy and easier to pimp on TV.

Here’s the other thing Santorum knows.  His southern wins means nothing if he can’t get the nomination.  Mitt will win the South in the general election against President Obama.  There are several reasons for this, the least of which are, in my opinion, race and religion.

So Rick knows he can’t really use the “I won the south and Romney can’t” line because everyone knows that’s not true.  Whatever is being said about Romney by his own party right now will be dust in the wind if Mitt wins the nomination.  No matter the kerfuffle over Mitt’s moderate political positions, republicans will get in line and vote the President out of office.  Rick can say Romney is unelectable as much as he want’s, he knows it’s not true.

So Santorum trails Mitt by over 200 delegates and he is running out of states, hence the trip to Puerto Rico.  Catching Mitt is not impossible, but it’s not probable.

My fear is Santorum will do the improbable.


Missouri and Puerto Rico vote over the weekend, then the big Illinois primary on Tuesday.

As always Frank’s Place will detail the results.  Delegate count update below.

Count includes MS, AL, HI, & Amer. Samoa

GOP Primary: Mittmentum hits southern roadblock

It was never really a possibility that Mitt would win in the South, but for a brief moment tonight he led in both Mississippi and Alabama and it looked like he might just end this deal right here right now.  Well the band will play on.  It looks like Santorum will get a big win in Alabama and possibly eek out a win over Mitt in Mississippi.  We are four hours from polls closing in Hawaii and American Samoa, that’s 2 am in the east boys and girls, so we won’t know delegate counts there until 4 or 5am tomorrow morning.

With 50% of the vote in Alabama counted Rick has 35%.  Newt and Mitt are battling for 2nd.  IN Mississippi the three candidates are separated by 2 percentage points.  That might be a while.  It’s not entirely clear what tonight’s results will mean for Rick and Mitt until we see delegate counts.  What is clear is Newt has had it.  He was figuring to win both these states.  He may be lucky to come in 2nd in MS but he’ll likely be 3rd in AL.  A 3rd in AL means no delegates for Newt.  Of course he’ll give a 45 minute speech detailing how he is still the the only one who can beat Obama.

Ron Paul is a distant 4th in both states.  At 4% in AL and 5% in MS Paul will get zero delegates from tonight.  He may get a few in Hawaii as it’s a caucus and Paul does a little better in caucuses, but he’s over.  His only hope now is Newt “uni-bomber” Gingrich stays in and jams the math to the point of an open floor fight at the convention.

And as I type CNN is calling Alabama for Rick Santorum.  Rick is on his way to a huge night momentum wise.  That doesn’t get you to 1144, but it does generate more money which is as important.   There are 47 delegates in AL, 37 in MS, so we’ll wait to see how they shake out.

Funny/sad visual from Alabama.  The state used chain-gang members, complete with striped prison unis and leg irons to carry the boxes full of ballots to the state HQ for counting.  CNN captured it all.

Stay tuned, counting of ballots continues.